Chapter 16: Don't Panic

     "Well, that's a little tricky to deal with right now..." The Father said with a descending look. "You promised me paradise, and I've been with Kuki for 6 seasons. SIX SEASONS! Do you know how that feels? Do you know how it feels to have someone you KNOW that is more powerful than you that LIES TO YOU? NO! NO I DIDN'T THINK SO." Wally began to cry. "I will consult this over with the rest of the trinity." The Father, along with a 33 year old man and a dove, huddled up to discuss Kuki's fate. "We have decided a temporal and spacial shift is in order." "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-" "But, I will warn you, she was just reloaded with the temporal memory of having Codename: Kids Next Door cancelled." "Aww, I didn't know it was cancelled. I just thought I was fired because they found out I ate all the corn dogs that they kept in the back freezer. Man, that's awfulll..." "Anyway, we're going to go... do... spacial ... stuff." The Father closed his eyes, opened them again, but they had an unearthly light along them. He made a strange gesture and suddenly, a gelatinous column of light burst through the pristine white ceiling. The column reorganized itself and created a human female, more specifically, Kuki. "Hiiiii Wally! Nice to see you- OH. You're here because you're out of a job, aren't you? Great, that means I am too. Well, shall we?" We then both entered the Fields of Paradise. The Father began re-discussing Lucifer's plan for revenge. "Alright, so we know that he hates us with a vengeance, and he's probably plotting to destroy us now, AND he's finally let Wilzyx touch the Infernal Prism, which gave him satanic powers, and he took over Enchixenorea, and Enchixenorea needs order, and we need more FROZEN BURRITOS!" "Well, the good news in all of that is that GLaDOS was put in charge of the destroyed Oubliette, which means some of the crew members are going to their home universes. Which makes our job a whole lot easier. Still, we have to tell Willzahk the secret, put him through the test, and have him pass through the Mortal Coil. Plus, there's still the matter of Lucifer having an Infernal Prism. I suppose we'll eventually get our work done... I hope."
~Meanwhile~
     "Code Red! Code Red! We have a missing member! Code Red!" The crew was in panic after seeing Kuki dissolve before their eyes. "We lost Maddahk, we can't lose another!" Darkbane yelled while running through the Ancient Starship to read the life status board located in the bowels of the ship. Unfortunately, Willzahk was not back yet, as the Malebolgia complex had no time to activate itself (Malebolgia = bigger on the inside). After the ambush, the Doctor escaped and returned to his native universe. "Code Red! Code Re-OOOOOOWWW!" Darkbane winced in pain as he ran into the wall of the side of the brig. "Well, maybe we'll have a lucky break! Maybe he'll be back! That'd be great." The feminine voice of AEGIS rang out in the brig, "Willzahk has returned from his embassy recruitment." Darkbane was then stunned. "Wait ... how is Willzahk able to find us?" "Maybe you should tell him yourself..." Willzahk stepped out of the door to the hangar. "I suppose you'll be wanting a Malebolgia? Alright." His skin glowed with an angelic light, which created an energy surge that added more depth to the world of the Ancient Starship. "I copied the inside of the Oubliette from memory and modified it to the ship. Level one is the brig, level two is the Crescent of personal rooms, level three is the food court and conjuration range, and level four is the hangar and energy producer." "Excuse me, Conjuration range?" "Yes. I've downloaded a software that I created from the table scraps in Equestria that enables you to conjure practically anything EXCEPT for weapons. We don't exactly want another dead person." "Ummm ... yeah... you'll hate me for saying this... but ... Samus and Sylux were killed in the ambush. They were tending to the engines when the old owners of the Ancient Starship attacked us, which was where the old owners first attacked." AEGIS then stepped in, "I did, however, create a new security protocol and lockdown system that disperses all weapons under lockdown." Willzahk then facepalmed himself and then said "So ... three people died when I was offboard? Sorry for saying this, but... I think that they're targeting me. In which case ... I'm going to have to get you guys off this ship if they're going to target me more. Sorry guys." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, WHAT? You're making us leave? Why? We want to help you!" "Fine. I will let a poll decide. All who want to stay here and help me defend, please say 'Aye'". Darkbane, AEGIS, Zahkios, Mew, Death, and Aunehk said Aye. Willzahk then scheduled mass neurilyzation and teleportation of Kreia, Dexter, and Gir.
~Now, from Willzahk's POV...~
     I made Kreia, Dexter, and Gir remove their EONs, though it pained me to do so. I then neurilyzed them and changed my form to a slender male human with a suit and a blank face. "Thank you for your participation in Aegis laboratories. Your participation was noted and will contribute to a better future. BYE!" I then teleported them to where they were before they were recruited. I then reverted back to my original form, and began creating my room. I headed towards the elevator in the center of the room. I set it for level two. I also saw, on my way up, some nanobots attempting to make gyms and pools. I truly love this glass elevator.
~About forty seconds later~
     Alright. Finally at my room. I'm guessing it's a 10mix10mix10mi slate canvas. Since I'm here, I might as well make something nice and metaphoric. I then started to create trees, most of which were from the planet Calafraxius IV, home of the Aeborineans. The Aeborineans were a half-animal, half-tree lifeform that were eradicated due to the apparently flammability issue present whenever they tried to light a match. I then decided to divide my room into a copy of Enchixenorea. I decided to make the beach copy first (of Ful). I used my EON to summon a huge amount of water that poured out from a portal in the sky. I then began moving sand. I then created the everlasting storm that would hover over that section for a long period of time. I then created the lightning-proof electrical research lab in the middle of the stormy sea. I then moved on to Ign. I created a vast forest of trees, only so I could burn them down. I created a series of runic temples, lit by torchlight. I then created a dismal red sky over that section. I then started to create the fireproof research lab that was lit by torchlight. It was a mixture of runic temple and futuristic complex. I patted myself on the back for making such a stylish building. Oh Ouroboros, Rarity's fashion sense rubbed off on me. Yeesh. I then started to create the frozen wasteland of Cel. I decided I would have a nice half-frozen research lab, and a LOT of hot chocolate stands located in a plaza in the lab. I then created a sea, only to have it freeze as soon as hit the half-way point marked on the building. I froze the sea to have a half-submerged research lab, only to find that I covered the entrance. I then created a tunnel in the frozen sea to reach the entrance. I then decided to move on to the spiritual half. I should probably mention, as a coming of age test, all Ouroborosian protocitizens are required to visit the other countries in order to publish an extremely large essay on Political Balance. Ouroboros, I hated that. I then began creating the botanical world of Viv. I created a large glass dome surrounded by trees and ivy and grass and stuff. Note to self: Quarantine this section and deoxidize it to prevent the creation of diseases. Now, onto the country of Death, Mor. Ouroboros, this is going to be tricky. Because this is a country dedicated to Death, I created a technological haven run completely by an exuberant personality construct with my personality. I seriously hope I don't have to kill that. Now, onto Apoth. I created a large desert. I summoned random earthen spikes to strike through the sand like some sort of natural rock formation. I created a fissure, and a portal loop to make sand go through it like a waterfall. I created a whirlpool formation out of obsidian spikes, and put an elevator at the center. The elevator led to a spherical research lab that studied the biological impact of sand transfiguration. And now, the most difficult. I set my pak to flight mode, put on my newly conjured flight glasses, and flew a long while up. When it was time to stop, I created an aircraft carrier/platform/sports monitor thing. I made a circuit on the floor, and modeled the colored circuits into the shape of a multidirectional arrow circle and dubbed it the Zyruxian carrier. I created three miniature copies of the carrier and made them orbit the main carrier. They will be the representation of the three astral islands (Mith, Ast, and Ptol). At last, I set the Zyruxian Carrier to go in an arc around the sections, above the clouds of Ful. I then glided down to the center, which became a swirling mass of destruction, blocking my only entrance to the door. I had to release some divine power, because that mess needed cleaning up. I then managed to create a great dome with entrances into the sections marked by the seal of said country. I created a city under the dome, built around the entrance door. I put the door on an elevated stairwell platform. I also created several personality drones to create and sustain holographs of the seal above the country represented. I decided that it was going to be a little interesting, seeing as nobody could possibly get the reference, I created three sections in the city. One mini food court, one clothing revolvery, and one EON factory. Seeing as it was almost time to finish, I stepped back through the door and came back on the Ancient Starship. It was really nice seeing the pristine walls again. I went down to the food court to have some lunch. While I was on the elevator, there was a sound of an explosion. I called up the minicom on the bridge for a notification on what it was. Zahkios showed up on the screen. "This is Willzahk. What happened?" "Well, we don't exactly know, seeing as right before the explosion, there was a large, circular sonic boom in the distance of space. After the boom, a purple and pink streak went forth from the boom and rammed into us." I had a pretty vague guess about what just rammed into us. I continued my descent into the Food Court. When I descended, I saw that there was a huge crowd outside of the sandwich shop. I had a pretty bad feeling that it wasn't the popularity factor rising. When I asked to be let through, I saw something very strange. The shield generator quickly patched up the hole between us and the vacuum of space so that the spacial physics would not utterly destroy us. When I finally got to the closest to the hole, I saw a familiar sight. A purple unicorn with a purse on hang. "Hi Twilight." I said. "Willzahk? Is that you? Oh, thank Celestia I found you! Equestria is under attack!" "Really? That's awful! From who?" "He looked like you, except ... worse. He had a fire instead of your top horn, he had a torn robe, he was wearing a strange amulet, the bottom half of his robe looked like it was on fire, he had a third, red eye, and he had four tentacles squirming out from the fire at the bottom of the robe." "That sounds like a Zyruxian under the influence of an Infernal Prism..." "Wait, Willzahk. There's more. I still have to tell you the worst part..."-Willzahk
~Meanwhile, in Equestria~
     The burrow was ablaze with a light blue fire. The bunnies and critters were scampering around in fear. When he showed up, they all fainted in fright. His fire set ablaze the meadow he was walking across. The path he was walking across was carved with consisting arrows and circles from behind him. The ground turned to a smoky, volcanic terrain. I managed to escape his wrath for the time being by hiding in the cottage. But it was too late. He saw me enter, and he tore a hole in the side of the cottage to find me. He lit the rest of the cottage on fire, as I was trapped in a demonic inferno. He grabbed me with evil claws, and threw me against the burning wall. My back was singed by the flames preexisting on the wall. My wings were nearly broken. I scampered to the corner of the burning room, while the only thing I could see was his nightmarish form and the four tentacles and the fire at the bottom of his robe and the central horn. He began chanting some nightmarish verse, but then I remembered that Twilight gave me a charm as a translator necklace to help with animal control. I brushed my hoof with the charm, only to still get some feedback and demonic chant with it. What I eventually got, and made him sound a lot, lot more evil, was ...

W͌̑̓̓̿ͭͧ͏̸̡̙͍͉̹̩̜̞̱H̵̷͎̥̺͚̠͉͊ͭͪ̓̕É̸̪̫̓ͪ̂͛ͩ͒́ͅR͍̳͙̘͗ͥ͒͐̒͠ͅE̛̼̲͔͓̹͚̤͚͆̃̓̃ͯ̐ͩͩͦ͘͜.̨̘́̔͆.̵̛̛̣͖̊̒̔͂ͮ̑̿̚.̢̌̑ͤ̄̎̈́҉̖̰̠̣͙̺͇͇͉ ̵̛̬̟͎͎̘̬͉̝ͥͨ͛̓̆̃̍ͪ̈I̷͓̹̱̝̗̤͑ͨ͜ͅS͒́͏͈̭̞͕̬̮ͅ.̵̩̼̫͎̯͙̤͇̰͑͋ͫͥͯ͂͊.͙̦̠̎̉̌̉̅͘.̆ͧͮͪ̎ͦͣ̌͆͏͏̼̼̯̘̥͎͉ ̎͏̯͚͍̭̜͚͢W͖̖̭͎̙̯̃͠I̾̉҉͚̳̣̫͇͜͝L̨̖̫̬̟͉̲͆̀̚͠L͇͙͇̤̪̪̗͂̊ͭ̓̍̉̄̄̌͠Z̜͓͙͎̙̲͍͓ͨ̀Ȁ̷̢͉̪͙̯͓̘̹͊̎̾̏ͤ͊̌́H̼̣̱͎͖̥ͮ͒͡͞K̡͔ͯ̆̾ͥ́ͤ̀̎?̴̨̞͚̲̫̳̖̪͊͑ͨ̄̈͆̄ͭ͟!̛̦͙͓̮̃̉͆̎̇̑̔̒͘

-Fluttershy

Chapter 15: Rainbows and Neurotoxin

     "I see the Multiverse gate is close to operation," Thrax said with a smile. "Yeah, no thanks to you," responded Tak. The crumbled remains of the Oubliette fizzled and shorted out every time you stepped on a pile of rocks. A huge shower of sparks shorted out in front of me. "I attempted to repair the microphone system, and I managed to locate the nanobot crew," I said. "Ha! What a joke! How could you eve-" Tak said before the lights flickered back on and the tiles then began to reorganize themselves. "You were saying?" I asked as soon as the Multiverse gate began to work. "Well, I'll be damned," as Thrax said. "I'll be heading towards the command wing," I said while watching the panels organize themselves to a hall formation. When I finally went to the command wing, the tiles were in pure pristine condition, but I saw an unauthorized door open from the Utopian crescent. I saw one, still fizzling, Aperture Science Personality Probe fly out to where the new coordinates where. I then saw the probe go through a multiverse jump. Which reminds me... I then turned on the intercom system. "I suppose we will need to get an AI to defend the ship while we are running errands. Therefore, I will be leading an expedition to find a sufficient Artificial Intelligence. If anyone wants to come along, you are welcome to. Oh, and could Thrax please head toward the command wing? Thank you." I saw a camera that had a panel turn into an Aerial Faith Plate and catapult Thrax into the command wing. "Hello Thrax. Guess what? You did not lead a satisfactory life. You also murdered another innocent person. Therefore, balance must be upheld. My right hand started making an orb of energy around it. I moved my hand back, and thrusted it forward to fire a tendril of light blue energy at Thrax. The tendril went through Thrax like it was a huge spike on a cliff. "But, then again, I personally love your burning claw. Hmm. Tricky." I then shot another tendril to sever the claw from his hand. I sent an offshoot to devour the claw and build itself a biological modification to use in the future. The claw then disintegrated and reintegrated itself into a stream of scarlet embers that entered my EON. I then had a new application that allowed my hands to turn into claws that destroyed any living thing they touched. I then teleported in a bright flash to the multiverse gate. Tak asked where Thrax was. I told her that he wasn't with us anymore. I then whispered to my EON to make the panels drop him into space. I stepped into the gate, and I went exactly where I wanted to go-The Valve Universe. I teleported to the destroyed Enrichment Center of Aperture Science, and remotely triggered a core replacement, which involved me transferring the main system into an empty personality construct. Which, since I inherited a minor version of conjuration from my father, was very easy. I then used telekinesis to press the stalemate resolution button. I heard an audible scream from across the facility. I teleported to wherever the Stalemate resolution annex was. I saw a large, disk shaped head drop out of the puppetmaster hold that contained the main AI. I selected an app from my EON that took over Aperture and downloaded my personality into another personality core. I then placed that core into the main puppetmaster hold. "Wo-wo-wo-wo-WOAH! This is strange! This is so ridiculous! You conjured me just so you could put me in control? Aww, you are so NICE! Hold on, let me make an avatar." I saw a capsule drop down from above. The capsule exploded with compression. A robotic version of me stepped out of it. Which was pretty freaky, considering we were the only two Zyruxian Enchixenoreans off planet. "Well, well, well, well,well, WELL!, look at you! You handsome rogue! Also, I took the liberty of checking our shared memory, so, you are a murderer, but then again, so am I! Isn't having a robotic copy fun? Oh oh oh oh oh! Do you want her transferred to the ruins of the Oubliette? Considering the fact that we have active shared memories, I'll take that as a yes!" The robotic copy of me sent out five metal tentacles to move the head of the AI into the red aperture that changed authority in the Stalemate. "Her name was Caroline. It's GLaDOS now. Write that in your head. Also, I just changed her into a personality core. You can thank me later. Oh! And I also found two Personality cores orbiting the moon. Want me to get them? Too bad, I'm ignoring you, I'm getting them anyway!" Swarms of modified personality cores flew out of the sides of the room. "Fly my pretties, fly, fly, FLY! That was wizard of oz. Hope you don't mind. I also took the liberty of creating different avatars for more constructs. I already made different avatars for Rick and the Fact core." I saw two humanized androids show up on the four monitors. One looked like a robotic version of Indiana Jones and the other wore large glasses. I saw the monitors turn off. "Ah! Got 'em!" I then saw two more androids drop down from the ceiling. One was professionally insane and the other was a blue-eyed British guy. "What th- GLaDOS? IS THAT YOU? OH GOD! THATS HILARIOUS!" "Actually, that's me. Sorry." Said my robotic copy. "Guess what? You guys get some cake!" "What? WHAT! CAKE? I LOVE CAKE!" My copy opened up four trapdoors to the incinerator. "Just kidding. Your cake is in your inferno. Freaking psychos." The British guy said "I orbited through space for THIS?" And then he dropped. Yeesh, am I really this insane? "Anyway, please step forward to the portal to the Oubliette. Make sure to remember to bring GLaDOS." I stepped in the portal and downloaded GLaDOS to the Oubliette. "I rEaLlY hAtE yOu," said GLaDOS.
~Meanwhile~
"Hello." I said to the 'Mane Six'. They responded with greetings. "I'm glad that I'm here, thanks for welcoming me here. It's a very nice gesture." "No problem, we're all having fun." Twilight Sparkle said with a grin. "Indeed! Also, isn't it going to be really awkward to be walking into the candy shop while having horns?" Rarity questioned. "I have a disguise application on my EON. It's a sort of holographic reality manipulator." I activated it and the startup page opened. Just for giggles, I activated the starmap and multiverse application. The room lit up with an ethereal light as stars began illuminating the room with a solar delight. Pinkie Pie squealed with delight as she jumped around the room. "Ooh! Look at that! That's so shiny! Ooh! Look! Space! Solar winds! Ooh!" Twilight Sparkle was openmouthed. "How...do...you...have...a complete solar guide? I love this! This is fantastic!" Rarity was fascinated by the solar winds that swirled around her. "Ooh! This is really nice!" Rainbow Dash attempted to outrun one of the solar winds. Applejack just kept eating. Fluttershy took some time to carefully look at the planets. "Alright. Now for action." I zoomed in to the Enchixenorea system. "This is where I'm from. Please notice the fact that there is no planet. That is because it's destroyed." Applejack then raised her hoof. "Yes, Applejack?" "Yessum, There's a planet right there!" I was genuinely surprised when I turned around and I saw Enchixenorea orbiting around Xenor. "How ... is... that... still there? I was there when it self-destructed!" Twilight questioned what I was talking about. I made an audible sigh. "About a year ago, me and my girlfriend were living in the city of New Hope City. Then ... Xenor sped out of control. We were spaghettified into nothing and repositioned. Oh, and I also got powers. Meh." I then zoomed into Enchixenorea. It showed a summary of Enchixenorea and an interactive atlas of the cities. "What the- oh, you are kidding me." I saw Zyruxus remade on the opposite side of the world. Just as I was about to explain Our, a personality core burst through the window. It reorganized itself and levitated to show me the holographic message that it contained. <Mailer: Autosend> <Subject: 13th Status Check> <Body: All factories and power sources are operational and powered. However, the ship itself was attacked by another. All shipmates were aliv- Maddahk was murdered by Wilzyx.> "WHAT?! WHAT!? OH! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! HOW DARE HE!? SHE WAS HIS MOTHER! HOW COULD HE DO THAT!?" Fluttershy then questioned, "Wh-What happened?" I barely attempted to calm down. While still angry, I explained that Maddahk and I bred to make Wilzyx. While I was gone, Wilzyx murdered his own mother. I know for a fact that that's worse than Luna's exile. <The Oubliette was also destroyed by the MSG.> "Oh Ouroboros. You have to be kidding me." <Good News: Every crewmate except Maddahk has survived, and they stole the attacker's ship. Here are the coordinates...> I then nodded. Hmm. I heard a crash from the kitchen. I saw an orange colt with blonde hair and a cutie mark of the number 4 intertwined with a cross. "Hello. My name is Quaternarius. I was sent here by God to tell you- DUCK!  We all ducked before I saw a bullet whiz by my head. My EON then used a ballistics scan and self electrocuted the gun that fired the bullet. I heard a curse spoken from outside the building. I teleported myself outside of the building to meet my assailant. It was a light blue unicorn with white hair. "The Great and Powerful Trixie refuses to be beaten!" the assailant said. "Really?" I questioned, "Because it looks like you've just been ... beaten." I then used telekinesis to throw my assailant to the other side of the world. I then checked the history of the rifle that was shot at me. Apparently, it wasn't shot at me. It was supposed to have killed Twilight. Ooh ... that's a little dark for an MLP move. The rest of the day involved me doing one of these different tasks:
1) Filing books, reading, and discussing science with Twilight.
2) Harvesting apples with Applejack.
3) Creating new stunts with the power of portals with Rainbow Dash.
4) Creating clothing with Rarity.
5) Partying with Pinkie Pie.
6) Caring for flora and fauna with Fluttershy.
7) Discussing diplomacy with Princess Celestia.
8) Giving a hug to Princess Luna. (Oh come on, she deserves it)
9) Helping deliver mail with Ditzy Doo, (also known as Derpy Hooves)
After about two weeks passed, I decided to bid adieu. I gave these gifts to the ponies of Equestria...
1) The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy for Twilight.
2) A seismic hammer for Applejack.
3) A modified version of the ASHPD for pony use for Rainbow Dash.
4) An Invisibility Cloak for Rarity.
5) A book on "How to serve Ponies" for Pinkie Pie.
6) The Curiosity Core for Fluttershy.
7) A Tyrants' Guide on running a country for Celestia.
8) The Companion Cube for Luna.
9) Half-aged TARDIS Coral for Ditzy.
And then, I embarked on a journey that I knew I would regret. The journey to the Ancient Starship. I collapsed the embassy and turned it into a spacial manipulator. While I was on the hyperspace road to the starship, I thought I saw something strange. I thought I saw a purple streak with a pink internal streak speed past me. Hmm. My mind must be playing tricks on me. Which would explain Maddahk's murder.-Willzahk
~Meanwhile~
"Did you tell him?" They asked with a grin. "Of course. I also prevented the assassinations. Which weren't all aimed at him, let me tell you. Also, make sure that Pinkie Pie stays away from Cupcakes. Just saying." I then went to the right of me, which led to the eternal fields. "Oh! One more thing! Where is Kuki?" 

Chapter 14: Let Diplomacy Commence

    "So ... you're telling me that you're from a different universe, and even a different planet?" Celestia asked. I responded nonchalantly "Yes. Yes I am." You know, the strange part was that to me, they all looked equine. "Anyway, I have sent my drones to generate advanced sciences in the embassy." "Pardon my asking, but what exactly are some examples of your advanced science?" I explained patiently, "Some of our sciences are essentially using magic without the use of a horn. One device enables the telekinetic abilities of suspending liquids and solids in midair to refrain from the use of gravity. Also, the worker drones are included." Princess Celestia asked to be left alone for time to think. I obeyed, as being a guest. I walked out of the ornate throne room and past the large steel doors. The doors closed with a loud clank. I heard voices inside the room. "I asked to be alone, so can you please leave?" "Of course Princess. We are happy to serve." Two of the royal guard walked out of the room loyally. I asked them one question, which were six words I was dying to use. I asked them "Don't you think she looks tired?" They responded with a blank stare into space. Wow. The doors gently opened. "I have decided. We will open diplomatic relations with you and the rest of your acquaintances. However, we are out of space in Canterlot, and you do not have apparent wings, so Cloudsdale is scratched off. Manehatten was destroyed by a giant friendship monster, and Fillydelphia was devoured by a parasprite swarm. So that only leaves... Ponyville. If you can glide, you can descend from the coast.
*Five Minutes Later...*
     "So, you're telling me this is safe?" I asked after putting on flight goggles and adopting a gliding suit. The pegasus instructor explained that this, jumping off of a shipdock to reach the town below and the cartoon physics would take care of the leftover inertia problem. I explained that I could've just used the long fall boots I created on the trip here, but nooooooo. The instructor jumped off the dock while yelling geronimo and asking to be followed. I yelled allons-y, and activated my own gliding system. Two electrified hologram wings burst out of the skeleton of the vent of my Pak. Feeling the adrenaline hit my system while I was falling, I changed apps on my EON to the portal gun I also installed on my way here. I disengaged my pak for a freefall. A discouraging scream from the instructor insued. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled. "Terminal Velocity!" I yelled. As I quickly approached the ground, I shot an orange portal at the ground and shot a blue portal about five feet from the orange one. I fell through the orange portal and flew out the blue one, leaving a gray streak across the sky. I passed through Cloudsdale like it was butter and I was the knife. While I was flying, I heard a huge noise, probably me breaking the sound barrier. About 2 seconds later, I heard another huge noise. It couldn't have been me, since I just broke the barrier. I then reengaged my gliding Pak to restabilize balance and flight control. I saw, on my right... a female pegasi with a rainbow mane. She asked me what my name was. I said it was Willzahk Crowley. She said hers was Rainbow Dash. I asked if there was any surname or anything. She looked at me like I had horns on my face. Which I do. I should really camouflage myself more. She invited me to an introduction to acquaint me with the rest of her friends. I accepted, realizing I should have a nicer morality. "Rainbow, I would advise you to hang on to something, because this is about to get verrry sloowww. I activated my temporal field, which slows down time and halts inertia. So, now, we're moving at a very slow pace in the middle of the sky. I teleported both of us to the ground, which stunned Rainbow Dash. "Wait a minute ... you're not from around here, are you? You don't have a cutie mark, don't have a horn, and you can use magic!" "Well, technically, I operated my Encyclopedia Of Nobility to fire a Temporal Anomaly Field to halt our inertia so I could carry a successful teleportation to the ground, but magic works too." "Alright, sorry I asked. Also, you'll have fun talking with Twilight." "Great, I'm looking forward to it." I sent a labor drone to teleport me to the embassy, which was out on the outskirts of town. I rematerialized in a very cushy room, with a bunch of coffee tables, beanbags, and a huge library. I figured that it would be nice enough to stay in for the day. I then heard a doorbell. When I opened the door, I saw a gray pegasus with blonde hair and derp eyes holding letters in her mouth. She spat out six letters of different colors and said "here ya go." She then flew away, doing corkscrews. I picked up the letters, went back inside, took out the papers, and began reading them simultaneously by using telekinesis. One paper was purple paper, from a library, and was signed Twilight Sparkle. One paper was orange, contained an apple pie recipe, and was signed from Applejack (Which was also conveniently the name of an alcoholic beverage, which I knew I wanted). One paper was bluish white, contained a blueprint for a very stylish dress, which I knew Maddahk would like, and was signed from a Rarity (that's literally her name). Another was teal, contained aerial stunt schematics, and was signed from Rainbow Dash (There was also a P.S., You know me from earlier). There was a loud pink paper that had a huge text body, a couple balloons, a cupcake, and was signed from Pinkie Pie (Full name: Pinkimena Diane Pie). There was one last letter to read. It was a quiet yellow paper, politely punctuated, and contained rabbit droppings. Classy. I ordered the paper to be deoxidized, and the paper was signed from a Fluttershy. I then turned to the beanbag chair, and began working on my universe report. The doorbell rang for a second time. I was extremely confused. The Derp pegasus was there and gave me two more letters. "Wow, you're really popular, aren't you?" The derp pegasus asked me. "I don't know, I just got here." I returned to the coffee table to open the letter. It was a deep black. It was signed in a white, a dark gray, a red, and a pale green signatures. The letter was signed from four pegasus unicorns that apparently decided to become Celestia's elite guard. They asked me to bring them up in a diplomatic conversation. The other letter was signed Quaternarius and was holding schematics to the embassy and sentry blueprints! What the heck! What a day.
~Meanwhile~
    Fires everywhere! This is getting ridiculous! The blitz came from out of nowhere! We had no chance! If only Willzahk was here, they would back off in a second! Aaunehk dashed to the control panel to restabilize the gravity, but all hell broke loose began he had a chance to get there! The bombs in the cargo bay! They began going off! Our engine and energy systems were being blown out our ears! A huge hole appeared in the side of the ship! I saw it, and my systems began shutting down in fear! The devil himself! and ... other people. They began the invasion of the oubliette, while I began the Mass Shadow Generator that Willzahk installed on me. Aaunehk, however, had a plan. He called the Devil and said... "You can kiss my nonexistant ASS!" He materialized a baton, shot five tentacles of water out of it, activated a crown of energy, and began humming a song. This somehow caused him to grow about five feet taller, began purple, and had two extremely aggressive tentacles with mouths on them. He shot a huge amount of lightning at the devil, but the devil burned him in an inferno. The last thing that Aaunehk did before he completely evaporated was teleport all of us to the other ship, which was surprisingly undamaged, and remotely activate the Mass Shadow Generator on the Oubliette. In fact, the only way I'm talking to you right now is- HOLY FISH CRACKERS, WILZYX KILLED MADDAHK! WILZYX WAS ON THE BAD GUY'S SIDE ALL ALONG? WE ARE ALL F***ED! Anyway, the only way I'm talking with you is the fact that Dexter condensed me into a personality core before I self-destructed. Things I learned today: Life is a total B****. - AEGIS

Chapter 13: Science is Magic

"How goes the new tests with the AI we installed this morning?" I asked while strolling down the opal hallway. The calm, feminine, metallic voice responded, "The surveys returned with a collective result: success. However, a large buildup of mental activity has arrived at the FiM universe. The lifeforms there are ... interesting." The AI responded. "Wait a minute ... hasn't Dexter named you yet? Isn't he back from vacation?" I asked. "The form of life you called 'Dexter' has given me a name of recognition. I am the Artificial Enlightenment Grid of Inquisition and Security, also known as AEGIS." "Wow. Didn't expect him to come up with a snazzier acronym, if I do say so myself." "He was assisted by the scientists over at Aperture Science. Also, Aperture Science has decided to give us two copies of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and blueprints for the long fall boots. They were present of your knowledge of astral engineering to create a better version of the boots and standardize the use of them." "Hmm, it almost sounds like they're complimenting me!" "Actually, maybe the present fact that Dexter did not inform them of the obvious fact that you are not human." "Well, there is that", I said while slowly turning into a smile. "Going back to the Aperture Science job, they also teleported a Personality Core over here. It was a Morality Core to forestall future outbursts of violence." "I had no idea that you had a violence problem. Good thing it was ended before it came up." "Quite. Do you want immediate access to the survey team?" I requested yes. AEGIS then lowered the tile I was standing on. I solidified my stance to prevent falling over. I felt the tile create borders and then create a protective fence. The elevator-tile went down to the flight deck. I saw thirteen heavily modified Aperture Science Personality Cores that had been cannibalized into spherical drones. One was giving off sparks and fizzling. I demanded an information uplink to the malfunctioning drone. The drone's energy wings flipped open and started floating. "Command: Reboot systems and replay latest footage. Statement: Replaying..." The core gave off a large amount of sparks and backed up. The central iris glowed like an ember and then started playing the video.
It started as the core went through the portal that AEGIS created to send out the drones. It went through a multicolor tunnel and then exited it after a scene reminiscent to "Oh my God, It's full of Stars" in 2001: a Space Odyssey (Speaking of which, that movie is boring, but very lightening). After the tunnel episode, it exited to find a very ... light planet. The core crash-landed on a hill. After using repulsion jets to restabilize itself, it looked for signs of life. It saw a mountain with a city carved into it. Upon further inspection, there was also a tranquil town with a monumental apple orchard. There was also a large town made out of clouds in the sky. The current destination on the subtitles revealed that the drone was somewhere in a country called Equestria. The drone began the disguise stage of scouting. As in, it scanned the local life and camouflaged itself to match. It then managed to distinguish the form of life, type of life, universe category, and the astral location. The drone managed to distinguish a mental caste system of the people in the shadowed town. It seems that a representative from the royal kingdom of a "Canterlot" was sent to have an active testing protocol. Successful surveys recall that the technical ruler of the world was a Princess named Celestia. Whoo. Darkbane's gonna have a cow when I tell him this. Wait a minute ... all of these statues are equine. So why are the natives human? The drone looked like equine. It was never noticed. I noticed that the video started fizzling again. A hyperactive female human with a ... pink afro saw the drone and the Drone broke down. The Drone's disguise shorted out and reverted back to the first state. 3rd Person mode was enabled, and the camera fizzled. The camera regenerated in the location of a primitive lab. A female human with straight purple hair and a pink line was walking around the probe, attempting to decipher what it was. "My guess was that it was an experimental android sent by the robotics team over in Canterlot ..." "Ten coins say that you can rebuild it"... "Maybe it's a PARTY-BOT 9000!" Oh Ouroboros, just what I needed. Optimism. Still, I googled it and it had a huge fandom. Soooo EMBASSY TIME! Meanwhile, during my monologue, the Drone activated its ESS, the Emergency Spacial Shift. It teleported to the ship, half-repaired. I sent more labor drones to completely repair it. About five minutes later, Drone 13 was completely restored. I ordered it to begin making the Embassy building and having me be an ambassador there. I decided to weld an EON to the drone so I could remotely trigger the transformation and teleportation sequence. I announced to the crew that I would be taking a leave of absence for diplomatic business. I attached the EON to the drone, and we went on our way.-Willzahk
~Meanwhile...~
"Is it time to strike now?" Stinkmeaner said with a tone of arrogance. "No, you loathsome fool", responded Satan. "Give it time, for I know that our spy will do his job well." Tak responded with questioning, "Spies? Not even Irk would do such a thing. Sure, we sent strike teams and orbital bombardment for every planet that refused to repay its IOU's, but SPIES?" "I sent one spy, but the irony is that I gave him a perception filter so no one would question why he's setting charges in the engine bays. Your foolish answer was so ridiculous, MEETING ADJOURNED!" We all went our separate ways except for Thrax and I. "How about that Devil, huh?" I queried. "The imbecile won't know what hit him when we go ahead with our invasion mission. The idiot would be still over there and the ship would be blowing up with him still inside! Then we can use the ship to change the past and rewrite history!" I interrupted; "Don't you think that's a little-HURK!" Thrax's red-hot fingerblade was piercing my chest. As I hit the white-tiled floors, Thrax said with a wide grin, "Feel the heat yet, Wallabee?" And my soul was surrendered to the other side. When I found Hell, I found something intriguing. I could move around. I was worthy enough to reach the Harrowing. I ran and ran and ran for my immortal soul was in the balance, to the Obsidian gates of Christ's Harrowing. "Kyrie Eleison," I said, and the gates opened. I felt an ecstatic burst of light, and I was high in the clouds. I heard three people talking above me. "Lucy's still at it ... What say we blurt it out?... Oh! a redeemed soul!" All of their eyes shifted towards me. They descended from their heavenly clouds to say, "Hello Wallabee Beatles. We have been expecting you. Now, as you may see, you were betrayed by a fellow teammate, so therefore you were a victim of the Sin of Treachery. However, being the notoriously handsome fellows we are, will be sending you to another place for a temporary period. You will be sent to the World of Friendship is Magic. Yes, I know that sounds stupid, but in a short period of time, an extremely important guest will be arriving at Ponyville for an Embassy test. If the test is successful, than we will let you go frolic in the eternal fields of Paradise. If you fail, and you let the assassination attempts, and there will be, succeed, you will be forced to watch your mistakes for all eternity. However, we will also be granting you temporary immortality to weapons, so you cannot be killed as long as you are down there. You will be sent back up here upon a successful mission. My hope is that you will succeed, and I'll see you on the eternal fields. I also wish to see you using your immortality to its full potential. Oh! And one more thing. You are only allowed to say these words to the protected guest: 'God is watching you.' Goodbye for now, Wally Beatles. See you again! And I blanked to unconsciousness. The next time I woke up, I was in a surprisingly campy town was new jeans, a new shirt, and some weird symbol of the number four intertwined with a cross. I knew that I had a mission, and I intended to follow it.-Wally Beatles

Vidlog 12: Non Sequitor

~Meanwhile~
     Zyruxian scouts shouted in glory, "Hark! The child is born!". Highlord Teruxius called to his soldiers, "Make way for the holiest of objects!". The red diamond burned its way through the atmosphere to the center of Zyruxian faith, the Crucible. The diamond crashed into the center of the temple. "We must give this to the Savior". The Zyruxian Shamans circled the diamond and fashioned it into a necklace. Suddenly, a noise from the top of the temple. An Irken ship landed on the intricately designed roof. The immense weight sent it crashing through to the center of the Crucible. The cockpit opened with a whirlpool of steam. "A visitor ... Hmm..." "I can't believe how unfortunately cramped it is in there! No wonder their government is height based!" Wilzyx groaned. "Now, why did a fellow Zyruxian destroy the precious ceiling of the most holy Crucible?" "Well, obviously someone who has never been here, or someone who doesn't give a damn. Oh wait, second description." "How DARE you speak so roughly to the great High Priest?" "Oh, I'm SORRY," as Wilzyx's hands burst into a light-blue flame "Did you mean me?" He moved his hands like a type of dance of death, as the ground started glowing with a light-blue aura. "Prepare ... FOR YOUR ANNIHILATION!" The ground ripped apart like a type of clay while light blue fire sprung from the cracks in the ground. Light blue fire consumed the Shamans, as they were swept into the cracks in the ground. Wilzyx picked up the necklace with the Red Diamond. "At last, my Infernal Prism is mine once more, and all who try to stop me will bow down to my wrath." Wilzyx laughed evilly. "And many false prophets shall rise, and they shall deceive many." Wilzyx's ringtone, Davy Jones, suddenly kicked on. Wilzyx especially preferred the organ solo. He gave a few curses and burst into a column of light blue fire.
~Meanwhile, aboard the Oubliette...~
    "Sh*t!" Wilzyx tried to hush himself after materializing in the middle of the bathroom. Scorch marks lit the floor. Wilzyx snapped his fingers and the scorch marks disappeared. "Note to self: Set more sleeper charges in the Crescent." The lavatory door swung open and closed with its signature *CLANG*. Wilzyx, attempting to be stealthy, disappeared in a flash of light blue. When the flash ended, he was at the end of the long hallway that led to the crescent. Wilzyx rushed to a blank spot in the pure white plated walls. He looked left, then right. He put his hand against the wall. It slid in like it was a knife. He then squeezed into the wall. "Excellent, just as I planned." He then walked quietly in the pure black hallway. The sides of the hallway were pure black. Only the frames of the sides were colored. They were tubing, which transported nutrients to the rest of the ship. Wilzyx opened the door at the end of the hallway. The door was highly decorated, and had intricate battle scenes carved into its obsidian mantle with such ornate precision. When the door opened, he was in his room. It was completely white, from as far as the eye could see, stretching out to infinity. His room was by far the largest, and yet the smallest (He used his power of intangibility to sneak in the other rooms). Only the door and him were present in the eternal room. Deciding his powers might need some work, he lit his hands on fire. He threw two fireballs into the north direction. He conjured a wall of flame to make himself in a box. He spiraled upwards, catapulting himself out of the box with a cascade of fire. He conjured two training drones. He snapped his fingers and the drones were set alight. The drones exploded. "Alright, now for the tricky lesson", Wilzyx stated. He lit his hands. A sphere of light blue energy engulfed his hands. He conjured a coffee table. "Just...a...little...more..." He sent both his hands to the direction of the table, sending two light blue tendrils of energy to lash out at the table. The tendrils wrapped around the table. He threw the table directly upwards. He retracted one of the tendrils and replaced the point with a curved blade. While the table was descending, he lashed out his blade tendril at the table. Success. The table burst into a thousand pieces of wood. "I think there's one more that I may have to practice..." Willzyx clasped his hands, still alight, together. He then pushed them forward. The space in front of him was distorted, and he felt reality fall apart at the seam. "Uh oh! Time to get out of here!" He snapped his fingers. The room was normalized, and he was back in the midnight black hallway. Another ringtone. "SH*T!" He disappeared in a burst of light. He appeared at the corner of the hallway leading to the meeting room. "Ah, Wilzyx. Glad you could join us! Everyone, this is Wilzyx. My son." Willzahk exclaimed. Several gasps and compliments. Wilzyx walked in to the meeting room and took his seat. Satisfied with his doings, he cracked a smile. "Wilzyx, is there something you would like to tell us?" Willzahk queried. "No, no, just thinking of a funny joke I saw earlier." Wilzyx responded.-The Grand Archivist

~Meanwhile...On the Ancient Starship...~
     Tak rushed in to the meeting room. "MY SHIP IS GONE!" "Are you sure?! AARGH!" I yelled in disgust. "Typical for Irken vermin! Always so short." My horns itched. "You wish I was that gracious. What I lack in beauty, I make up for in power. When my plan comes into fruition, you all shall receive your just reward." I closed my eyes, envisioned the hangar, and snapped my fingers. "A new ship is awaiting you in the hangar. But if you break it, I swear to almighty GOD, THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY!"-Satan

Vidlog 11: The Ancestor

Willzahk-Zahkios

     When we collected the infant fairy "Poof", he was a spherical levitating orb of pure magic. However, during the operation, he became ... less cute. He grew a body out of the bottom of his sphere, turning him into an oval-shaped being. He then grew legs and arms. This part is my favorite; He grew marks of Fulgis. As I probably already explained, Fulgis was the country of Storm. It was originally what you would call a "peninsula". But, as I already explained, the Zyruxian invasion began, and the Fulgisians flooded the main strip of land connecting the rest of the peninsula to the mainland. The Zyruxians did not actually conquer Fulgis, but that's another story. The overview is that, like the other beings of Enchixenorea, Fulgisians have special abilities native to their country of origin. You can tell these abilities by the shape of the horns. For instance, the Ouroborosian nation have a triangle shaped trio of horns, two by the mouth (on each side), and one of the top of the head. That means that we have the ability to control pure energy and to affect the outside appearance of anything. Both abilities are genius in wartime. The Fulgisians have the abilities to breathe underwater and manipulate electricity. I know for a fact that there is an underwater city created by the Fulgisians to avoid the Zyruxians. Now ... for the explanation of the Zyruxians. The Zyruxians were a splinter group created by a leader named Congerias. Instead of basic horn labeling, Zyruxians have the basic double-horn near the mouth, but they have a tentacle on the top of their head. The function of this is unknown. Some Ouroborosian scientists labeled the Horn-design to be a birth defect. Back to the invasion ... The Zyruxians decided to perfect their abilities over Chaos and Destruction. PowerGloves (the main weapon of Enchixenoreans) were replated with a black and red color scheme, which belongs to the Zyruxians. PowerGloves, when used by Zyruxians, can cause extreme damage to the surrounding environment. Not because of pollution or anything, but because of the probability of Chaos to ravage the surroundings. A standard issue android would have disintegrated in about .5 seconds if hit by a chaotic wave. They aimed for planetary conquest, but they failed. Painfully. Maddahk snapped me out of my mental self-explanation.
     "WHAT did you say that dream told you to do?" exclaimed Maddahk. I said that I have to find an adorable emissary of telekinesis ... or something. I talked it over with the Crew. "Adorable, huh?" "I bet that it's telekinetic" "Try the infamous universe of ... Pokemon". Several gasps erupted from the crew. "NOT THERE", "WE WILL SURELY DIE", "I heard of a man who ventured to that universe. He never returned." I finally decided to pick up my conversation about ... Pokemon. "I invite Darkbane and Zahkios to accompany me on my ... quest." And so we took our EONs journeyed to the insufferable land of ... Pokemon.
~20 MINUTES LATER~
     "That was EXHAUSTING. That was a 20 minute time period I will never regain", as I stated, while holding an electrified net. "This bag contains the ancestor of all Pokemon, Mew. However, it says its own name instead of everything else, so I'll fix the translator." We threw her in the anthromorphrosizer, which turns animalia into bipedal humanoids.
~5 Minutes Later~
     "What the F***?" yelled Mew as she stepped out of the anthromorphrosizer. "WHOA, intolerable language!" I then gave her a stern talking-to about language in the Oubliette. "Yeah, whatever, but my f***ing room better be f****ing clean by the end of the day."
     I then put my hands in my pockets. "Oh Lord Ouroboros", I groaned.-Willzahk

      As soon as I entered my room, I saw Willzahk laying down on the couch. I had a feeling he wasn't here for homework help. "No, definitely not homework help. We graduated decades ago!" he said. "How did you"-"I can read minds now. By the way, your feelings are true. I do have feelings for you." He said. "So ... I saw in your mind the idea what you plan to do. I will not stop you. I actually volunteer." "Well... alright." I said. We both modified our Paks for the final time, releasing a pill from the top of the Pak. This pill ensures that only one child will be created. We were both required to take the pill. We both took the pill. Then, I felt a sting of warmth come from the slits on the back of my head. I felt the spores leave my body and join together with Willzahk's spores. As the first spores connected, I felt an even larger burst of heat circle the spore collection. I could almost see the minuscule orb of energy that would be our descendant. I then saw the color drain from around us. This proves the country of origin. "Wait a minute ... did the contract of romance say anything about spawning in space?" Willzahk then explained "Uh oh. It did say something ... something about the interstellar exile ... that it would be incredibly improbable that future Enchixenoreans would breed in ships ... but if they did ... Ugh, this last part's hard to remember... they would become 'Children of Chaos'. Wait a minute ... Children of Chaos ... that sounds a lot like..." I interrupted, "A ZYRUXIAN!" We watched with amazement as the orb turned from Pure white to smoky gray with a red outline. I then saw tendrils of light extend from the orb. "Well, now we know it's a boy. Looks like we have one new passenger. We should tell the others." Willzahk agreed. What shall we name him? Enchixenorean romance laws do require the name of the ascendants to be somewhere in the name ... How about Wilzyx?" Willzahk suggested. "Fine, fine name. It means salvation." "Indeed it does." -Maddahk

~Meanwhile~

The Evil Ones gathered around the altar. "Now, we shall find who it is ..." Satan cracked a smile. As he drew a pentagram on the altar, a column of fire sprung forth. When the fire hit the ceiling, the fire turned dark gray with a red shade. "Wilzyx, you are the strongest link. Hello."

~Meanwhile~

"Lucifer is still at it, Father." "Yes, my son, I know." "What are you going to do about him? I was thinking along the lines of human rapture..." "No, if we did that, it would be too early. We still have to show our newest member loss." "But father, if we give him loss, what will he do? File for release?" "Please, son, reference something else, but I help you if you reference The Giver." "What will he do when he chooses to look at that future?" "He will experience Wrath. He will murder billions." "Yes, but I have experienced righteous wrath. It is not pleasant." "Wait a minute ... how are we here and HS isn't?" HS appeared. "Sorry, had to bless another 8th Grade class. Confirmation, you know." "Alright. The Trinity is back in town!" "I just have one question, when are we inviting him to hang with us?" "When he is ready." "Are we supposed to let him know about us yet?" "Sure, hopefully he won't be torn with Heresy. He does not know the full extent of his species' crimes."- The Galactic Order Department

Vidlog 10 - Magic is Might

Willzahk:A'aune

     Imagine my surprise when I saw that my Crystal Forge was used. There were no fingerprints on the casing, which is extremely strange. I use Crystal Forges for a hobby. However, the industrialization of Crystals were hallmarked by the country of Myth, Apoth. They have special braces that a person puts on their arms to manipulate minerals. Cel was accused of stealing this idea. Cel, the country of Ice, industrialized heavy freezing using stolen Crystalshaper technology. However, Cel, being the communistic society it was, used it proudly. It created a nearly impenetrable dome around the Capital city, Celsius. This was crucial to the battle of Celsius. The victors were obviously Celsiusians, but the losers were a small civilization called Zyruxia. Zyruxia was a failed attempt to create the Element of Chaos. Almost every new Ouroborosian knew the natural opposite of Balance is Chaos. Heck, even I did. But why did an Infernal Prism go to Zyruxia? I'll have to solve that question later. For now, I had a couple more people to recruit.
     "You're insane!" Darkbane stated when I proposed to recruit a magical being. "I've seen Magical Beings. Elementals are way too boring, Treants are too ... stiff, the Undead would scare the CROP out of Gee I aR, and Mythical creatures ... always had a problem with them." I resolved this fact, and I then decided to not do a very important step. "We AREN'T gonna go to Wizard101 for a Crew Member. Who would we get? Malistaire?" Darkbane shuddered. "He's dead. Assisted suicide." "Anyway, who I have in mind will take a little recon of some bars (By this, I meant drinks. You really thought the Mos Eisley Cantina was the only one? "Unfortunately, this one was where the Multiverses overlapped, so there might be a couple of people from another couple of Universes." For my expedition team, I need some people who can win a fight, get anyone involved, and the ability to win anything. Three hands went up. The hands belonged to Sylux, Darkbane, and the Doctor.
~10 Minutes later~
So, we're at this bar, the End of Line, apparently. Sylux immediately went to the bar. Darkbane and I went to the private appointments club. The hilarious part about this was I knew some of the people there. There's Invader Zim ... there's the Warner Trio ... there's Freakazoid and ... that one guy. And THERE's our target. I walked over to him, even though he was floating in midair above a barstool. I asked him "you want a drink?" "Sorry, I don't do Alcohol, screws up my liver. Puts me in an alcoholic coma until it gets out." "Ooook then." "So ... you wanna help me save the world?" "Depends. You got muffins?" "Yeah" "I'm in." "Hey, I'm wondering ... who are you, where ya from?"Willzahk ... Crowley. Ouroboros, Our, Enchixenorea." "Poof. Fairy World, Primum Mobile, Earth." "Pleasures all mine." "DARKBANE! Get your head out of the gutter. Kuki's still waiting for you." "WHAT? COMING!" I then felt a slight tingling feeling, and then Darkbane appeared next to me. DOCTOR! "What?" "WE'RE LEAVING!" He then ran fast, like he practices or something. Now for the last one. "SYLUX!" I heard several loud whispers. "Sylux-Here? Now?" "Impossible!" "Now to repay him." The bargoers got into, you guessed it, a barfight, which gave us time to escape. We then quickly teleported to the Oubliette.
~5 minutes later~
"How was it?" Maddahk queried. "Fine." I responded. "We already spliced my DNA trace with his and he turned out fine. "One thing though.", I added. "There was a red line in the wall of the Cantina. It looked like it was made out of solid disease. A chemical scan showed that the line had excessive remains of El Muerte Rojo Virus strain. If my memory is correct, and it is (I have omniscience), that virus is superior in nearly every way. We might be in trouble.-Willzahk

Meanwhile ...
"I trust that our deal will live up to our expectations, Thrax." Tak showed little to no emotion while talking to the Red Death, Thrax.
"Yes, but my Claw requires constant heating to work".
"No problem. There's Satan's Hellpit, Stinkmeaner's barbecue, my workshop..."
"Got any heated wine coolers?"
"Yeah, in the pool."
"You have a POOL?"
"It has fire."
"Ah."
"So, basic guidelines. Do not poke holes in the cockpit glass, Do not steal Wally's martini, and DO NOT drink all the alcohol! If you drink all the alcohol, all Hell will break loose! In other words, almost everyone here will KILL YOU!
"What are you, stupid? I'm a DISEASE! And a very contagious one at that!"
"Also, you might recognize some of us. Some famous people here are
1) Alex Mercer from Prototype,
2) Colonel H. Stinkmeaner from the Boondocks,
3) Aku from Samurai Jack,
4) Cthulhu from the Lovecraftian universe,
5) A Grox Specimen from the Spore universe,
6) Voldemort from the Harry Potter Universe,
7) Audrey 2 from the Little Shop of Horrors,
8) Numbuh Four, or Wally Beatles from the Kids Next Door universe,
9) A sample of the Venom symbiote from the Spider-man universe,
10) Yourself from Osmosis Jones, and
11) Myself from Invader Zim
12) We also are looking for an emissary of Treachery."

They stood still for about two minutes until Aku floated in. "Consider yourself graced. Satan himself said he foresaw an emissary heading towards us. Just one thing though, he said that he had to be born."