Chapter 15: Rainbows and Neurotoxin

     "I see the Multiverse gate is close to operation," Thrax said with a smile. "Yeah, no thanks to you," responded Tak. The crumbled remains of the Oubliette fizzled and shorted out every time you stepped on a pile of rocks. A huge shower of sparks shorted out in front of me. "I attempted to repair the microphone system, and I managed to locate the nanobot crew," I said. "Ha! What a joke! How could you eve-" Tak said before the lights flickered back on and the tiles then began to reorganize themselves. "You were saying?" I asked as soon as the Multiverse gate began to work. "Well, I'll be damned," as Thrax said. "I'll be heading towards the command wing," I said while watching the panels organize themselves to a hall formation. When I finally went to the command wing, the tiles were in pure pristine condition, but I saw an unauthorized door open from the Utopian crescent. I saw one, still fizzling, Aperture Science Personality Probe fly out to where the new coordinates where. I then saw the probe go through a multiverse jump. Which reminds me... I then turned on the intercom system. "I suppose we will need to get an AI to defend the ship while we are running errands. Therefore, I will be leading an expedition to find a sufficient Artificial Intelligence. If anyone wants to come along, you are welcome to. Oh, and could Thrax please head toward the command wing? Thank you." I saw a camera that had a panel turn into an Aerial Faith Plate and catapult Thrax into the command wing. "Hello Thrax. Guess what? You did not lead a satisfactory life. You also murdered another innocent person. Therefore, balance must be upheld. My right hand started making an orb of energy around it. I moved my hand back, and thrusted it forward to fire a tendril of light blue energy at Thrax. The tendril went through Thrax like it was a huge spike on a cliff. "But, then again, I personally love your burning claw. Hmm. Tricky." I then shot another tendril to sever the claw from his hand. I sent an offshoot to devour the claw and build itself a biological modification to use in the future. The claw then disintegrated and reintegrated itself into a stream of scarlet embers that entered my EON. I then had a new application that allowed my hands to turn into claws that destroyed any living thing they touched. I then teleported in a bright flash to the multiverse gate. Tak asked where Thrax was. I told her that he wasn't with us anymore. I then whispered to my EON to make the panels drop him into space. I stepped into the gate, and I went exactly where I wanted to go-The Valve Universe. I teleported to the destroyed Enrichment Center of Aperture Science, and remotely triggered a core replacement, which involved me transferring the main system into an empty personality construct. Which, since I inherited a minor version of conjuration from my father, was very easy. I then used telekinesis to press the stalemate resolution button. I heard an audible scream from across the facility. I teleported to wherever the Stalemate resolution annex was. I saw a large, disk shaped head drop out of the puppetmaster hold that contained the main AI. I selected an app from my EON that took over Aperture and downloaded my personality into another personality core. I then placed that core into the main puppetmaster hold. "Wo-wo-wo-wo-WOAH! This is strange! This is so ridiculous! You conjured me just so you could put me in control? Aww, you are so NICE! Hold on, let me make an avatar." I saw a capsule drop down from above. The capsule exploded with compression. A robotic version of me stepped out of it. Which was pretty freaky, considering we were the only two Zyruxian Enchixenoreans off planet. "Well, well, well, well,well, WELL!, look at you! You handsome rogue! Also, I took the liberty of checking our shared memory, so, you are a murderer, but then again, so am I! Isn't having a robotic copy fun? Oh oh oh oh oh! Do you want her transferred to the ruins of the Oubliette? Considering the fact that we have active shared memories, I'll take that as a yes!" The robotic copy of me sent out five metal tentacles to move the head of the AI into the red aperture that changed authority in the Stalemate. "Her name was Caroline. It's GLaDOS now. Write that in your head. Also, I just changed her into a personality core. You can thank me later. Oh! And I also found two Personality cores orbiting the moon. Want me to get them? Too bad, I'm ignoring you, I'm getting them anyway!" Swarms of modified personality cores flew out of the sides of the room. "Fly my pretties, fly, fly, FLY! That was wizard of oz. Hope you don't mind. I also took the liberty of creating different avatars for more constructs. I already made different avatars for Rick and the Fact core." I saw two humanized androids show up on the four monitors. One looked like a robotic version of Indiana Jones and the other wore large glasses. I saw the monitors turn off. "Ah! Got 'em!" I then saw two more androids drop down from the ceiling. One was professionally insane and the other was a blue-eyed British guy. "What th- GLaDOS? IS THAT YOU? OH GOD! THATS HILARIOUS!" "Actually, that's me. Sorry." Said my robotic copy. "Guess what? You guys get some cake!" "What? WHAT! CAKE? I LOVE CAKE!" My copy opened up four trapdoors to the incinerator. "Just kidding. Your cake is in your inferno. Freaking psychos." The British guy said "I orbited through space for THIS?" And then he dropped. Yeesh, am I really this insane? "Anyway, please step forward to the portal to the Oubliette. Make sure to remember to bring GLaDOS." I stepped in the portal and downloaded GLaDOS to the Oubliette. "I rEaLlY hAtE yOu," said GLaDOS.
~Meanwhile~
"Hello." I said to the 'Mane Six'. They responded with greetings. "I'm glad that I'm here, thanks for welcoming me here. It's a very nice gesture." "No problem, we're all having fun." Twilight Sparkle said with a grin. "Indeed! Also, isn't it going to be really awkward to be walking into the candy shop while having horns?" Rarity questioned. "I have a disguise application on my EON. It's a sort of holographic reality manipulator." I activated it and the startup page opened. Just for giggles, I activated the starmap and multiverse application. The room lit up with an ethereal light as stars began illuminating the room with a solar delight. Pinkie Pie squealed with delight as she jumped around the room. "Ooh! Look at that! That's so shiny! Ooh! Look! Space! Solar winds! Ooh!" Twilight Sparkle was openmouthed. "How...do...you...have...a complete solar guide? I love this! This is fantastic!" Rarity was fascinated by the solar winds that swirled around her. "Ooh! This is really nice!" Rainbow Dash attempted to outrun one of the solar winds. Applejack just kept eating. Fluttershy took some time to carefully look at the planets. "Alright. Now for action." I zoomed in to the Enchixenorea system. "This is where I'm from. Please notice the fact that there is no planet. That is because it's destroyed." Applejack then raised her hoof. "Yes, Applejack?" "Yessum, There's a planet right there!" I was genuinely surprised when I turned around and I saw Enchixenorea orbiting around Xenor. "How ... is... that... still there? I was there when it self-destructed!" Twilight questioned what I was talking about. I made an audible sigh. "About a year ago, me and my girlfriend were living in the city of New Hope City. Then ... Xenor sped out of control. We were spaghettified into nothing and repositioned. Oh, and I also got powers. Meh." I then zoomed into Enchixenorea. It showed a summary of Enchixenorea and an interactive atlas of the cities. "What the- oh, you are kidding me." I saw Zyruxus remade on the opposite side of the world. Just as I was about to explain Our, a personality core burst through the window. It reorganized itself and levitated to show me the holographic message that it contained. <Mailer: Autosend> <Subject: 13th Status Check> <Body: All factories and power sources are operational and powered. However, the ship itself was attacked by another. All shipmates were aliv- Maddahk was murdered by Wilzyx.> "WHAT?! WHAT!? OH! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! HOW DARE HE!? SHE WAS HIS MOTHER! HOW COULD HE DO THAT!?" Fluttershy then questioned, "Wh-What happened?" I barely attempted to calm down. While still angry, I explained that Maddahk and I bred to make Wilzyx. While I was gone, Wilzyx murdered his own mother. I know for a fact that that's worse than Luna's exile. <The Oubliette was also destroyed by the MSG.> "Oh Ouroboros. You have to be kidding me." <Good News: Every crewmate except Maddahk has survived, and they stole the attacker's ship. Here are the coordinates...> I then nodded. Hmm. I heard a crash from the kitchen. I saw an orange colt with blonde hair and a cutie mark of the number 4 intertwined with a cross. "Hello. My name is Quaternarius. I was sent here by God to tell you- DUCK!  We all ducked before I saw a bullet whiz by my head. My EON then used a ballistics scan and self electrocuted the gun that fired the bullet. I heard a curse spoken from outside the building. I teleported myself outside of the building to meet my assailant. It was a light blue unicorn with white hair. "The Great and Powerful Trixie refuses to be beaten!" the assailant said. "Really?" I questioned, "Because it looks like you've just been ... beaten." I then used telekinesis to throw my assailant to the other side of the world. I then checked the history of the rifle that was shot at me. Apparently, it wasn't shot at me. It was supposed to have killed Twilight. Ooh ... that's a little dark for an MLP move. The rest of the day involved me doing one of these different tasks:
1) Filing books, reading, and discussing science with Twilight.
2) Harvesting apples with Applejack.
3) Creating new stunts with the power of portals with Rainbow Dash.
4) Creating clothing with Rarity.
5) Partying with Pinkie Pie.
6) Caring for flora and fauna with Fluttershy.
7) Discussing diplomacy with Princess Celestia.
8) Giving a hug to Princess Luna. (Oh come on, she deserves it)
9) Helping deliver mail with Ditzy Doo, (also known as Derpy Hooves)
After about two weeks passed, I decided to bid adieu. I gave these gifts to the ponies of Equestria...
1) The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy for Twilight.
2) A seismic hammer for Applejack.
3) A modified version of the ASHPD for pony use for Rainbow Dash.
4) An Invisibility Cloak for Rarity.
5) A book on "How to serve Ponies" for Pinkie Pie.
6) The Curiosity Core for Fluttershy.
7) A Tyrants' Guide on running a country for Celestia.
8) The Companion Cube for Luna.
9) Half-aged TARDIS Coral for Ditzy.
And then, I embarked on a journey that I knew I would regret. The journey to the Ancient Starship. I collapsed the embassy and turned it into a spacial manipulator. While I was on the hyperspace road to the starship, I thought I saw something strange. I thought I saw a purple streak with a pink internal streak speed past me. Hmm. My mind must be playing tricks on me. Which would explain Maddahk's murder.-Willzahk
~Meanwhile~
"Did you tell him?" They asked with a grin. "Of course. I also prevented the assassinations. Which weren't all aimed at him, let me tell you. Also, make sure that Pinkie Pie stays away from Cupcakes. Just saying." I then went to the right of me, which led to the eternal fields. "Oh! One more thing! Where is Kuki?" 

Chapter 14: Let Diplomacy Commence

    "So ... you're telling me that you're from a different universe, and even a different planet?" Celestia asked. I responded nonchalantly "Yes. Yes I am." You know, the strange part was that to me, they all looked equine. "Anyway, I have sent my drones to generate advanced sciences in the embassy." "Pardon my asking, but what exactly are some examples of your advanced science?" I explained patiently, "Some of our sciences are essentially using magic without the use of a horn. One device enables the telekinetic abilities of suspending liquids and solids in midair to refrain from the use of gravity. Also, the worker drones are included." Princess Celestia asked to be left alone for time to think. I obeyed, as being a guest. I walked out of the ornate throne room and past the large steel doors. The doors closed with a loud clank. I heard voices inside the room. "I asked to be alone, so can you please leave?" "Of course Princess. We are happy to serve." Two of the royal guard walked out of the room loyally. I asked them one question, which were six words I was dying to use. I asked them "Don't you think she looks tired?" They responded with a blank stare into space. Wow. The doors gently opened. "I have decided. We will open diplomatic relations with you and the rest of your acquaintances. However, we are out of space in Canterlot, and you do not have apparent wings, so Cloudsdale is scratched off. Manehatten was destroyed by a giant friendship monster, and Fillydelphia was devoured by a parasprite swarm. So that only leaves... Ponyville. If you can glide, you can descend from the coast.
*Five Minutes Later...*
     "So, you're telling me this is safe?" I asked after putting on flight goggles and adopting a gliding suit. The pegasus instructor explained that this, jumping off of a shipdock to reach the town below and the cartoon physics would take care of the leftover inertia problem. I explained that I could've just used the long fall boots I created on the trip here, but nooooooo. The instructor jumped off the dock while yelling geronimo and asking to be followed. I yelled allons-y, and activated my own gliding system. Two electrified hologram wings burst out of the skeleton of the vent of my Pak. Feeling the adrenaline hit my system while I was falling, I changed apps on my EON to the portal gun I also installed on my way here. I disengaged my pak for a freefall. A discouraging scream from the instructor insued. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled. "Terminal Velocity!" I yelled. As I quickly approached the ground, I shot an orange portal at the ground and shot a blue portal about five feet from the orange one. I fell through the orange portal and flew out the blue one, leaving a gray streak across the sky. I passed through Cloudsdale like it was butter and I was the knife. While I was flying, I heard a huge noise, probably me breaking the sound barrier. About 2 seconds later, I heard another huge noise. It couldn't have been me, since I just broke the barrier. I then reengaged my gliding Pak to restabilize balance and flight control. I saw, on my right... a female pegasi with a rainbow mane. She asked me what my name was. I said it was Willzahk Crowley. She said hers was Rainbow Dash. I asked if there was any surname or anything. She looked at me like I had horns on my face. Which I do. I should really camouflage myself more. She invited me to an introduction to acquaint me with the rest of her friends. I accepted, realizing I should have a nicer morality. "Rainbow, I would advise you to hang on to something, because this is about to get verrry sloowww. I activated my temporal field, which slows down time and halts inertia. So, now, we're moving at a very slow pace in the middle of the sky. I teleported both of us to the ground, which stunned Rainbow Dash. "Wait a minute ... you're not from around here, are you? You don't have a cutie mark, don't have a horn, and you can use magic!" "Well, technically, I operated my Encyclopedia Of Nobility to fire a Temporal Anomaly Field to halt our inertia so I could carry a successful teleportation to the ground, but magic works too." "Alright, sorry I asked. Also, you'll have fun talking with Twilight." "Great, I'm looking forward to it." I sent a labor drone to teleport me to the embassy, which was out on the outskirts of town. I rematerialized in a very cushy room, with a bunch of coffee tables, beanbags, and a huge library. I figured that it would be nice enough to stay in for the day. I then heard a doorbell. When I opened the door, I saw a gray pegasus with blonde hair and derp eyes holding letters in her mouth. She spat out six letters of different colors and said "here ya go." She then flew away, doing corkscrews. I picked up the letters, went back inside, took out the papers, and began reading them simultaneously by using telekinesis. One paper was purple paper, from a library, and was signed Twilight Sparkle. One paper was orange, contained an apple pie recipe, and was signed from Applejack (Which was also conveniently the name of an alcoholic beverage, which I knew I wanted). One paper was bluish white, contained a blueprint for a very stylish dress, which I knew Maddahk would like, and was signed from a Rarity (that's literally her name). Another was teal, contained aerial stunt schematics, and was signed from Rainbow Dash (There was also a P.S., You know me from earlier). There was a loud pink paper that had a huge text body, a couple balloons, a cupcake, and was signed from Pinkie Pie (Full name: Pinkimena Diane Pie). There was one last letter to read. It was a quiet yellow paper, politely punctuated, and contained rabbit droppings. Classy. I ordered the paper to be deoxidized, and the paper was signed from a Fluttershy. I then turned to the beanbag chair, and began working on my universe report. The doorbell rang for a second time. I was extremely confused. The Derp pegasus was there and gave me two more letters. "Wow, you're really popular, aren't you?" The derp pegasus asked me. "I don't know, I just got here." I returned to the coffee table to open the letter. It was a deep black. It was signed in a white, a dark gray, a red, and a pale green signatures. The letter was signed from four pegasus unicorns that apparently decided to become Celestia's elite guard. They asked me to bring them up in a diplomatic conversation. The other letter was signed Quaternarius and was holding schematics to the embassy and sentry blueprints! What the heck! What a day.
~Meanwhile~
    Fires everywhere! This is getting ridiculous! The blitz came from out of nowhere! We had no chance! If only Willzahk was here, they would back off in a second! Aaunehk dashed to the control panel to restabilize the gravity, but all hell broke loose began he had a chance to get there! The bombs in the cargo bay! They began going off! Our engine and energy systems were being blown out our ears! A huge hole appeared in the side of the ship! I saw it, and my systems began shutting down in fear! The devil himself! and ... other people. They began the invasion of the oubliette, while I began the Mass Shadow Generator that Willzahk installed on me. Aaunehk, however, had a plan. He called the Devil and said... "You can kiss my nonexistant ASS!" He materialized a baton, shot five tentacles of water out of it, activated a crown of energy, and began humming a song. This somehow caused him to grow about five feet taller, began purple, and had two extremely aggressive tentacles with mouths on them. He shot a huge amount of lightning at the devil, but the devil burned him in an inferno. The last thing that Aaunehk did before he completely evaporated was teleport all of us to the other ship, which was surprisingly undamaged, and remotely activate the Mass Shadow Generator on the Oubliette. In fact, the only way I'm talking to you right now is- HOLY FISH CRACKERS, WILZYX KILLED MADDAHK! WILZYX WAS ON THE BAD GUY'S SIDE ALL ALONG? WE ARE ALL F***ED! Anyway, the only way I'm talking with you is the fact that Dexter condensed me into a personality core before I self-destructed. Things I learned today: Life is a total B****. - AEGIS

Chapter 13: Science is Magic

"How goes the new tests with the AI we installed this morning?" I asked while strolling down the opal hallway. The calm, feminine, metallic voice responded, "The surveys returned with a collective result: success. However, a large buildup of mental activity has arrived at the FiM universe. The lifeforms there are ... interesting." The AI responded. "Wait a minute ... hasn't Dexter named you yet? Isn't he back from vacation?" I asked. "The form of life you called 'Dexter' has given me a name of recognition. I am the Artificial Enlightenment Grid of Inquisition and Security, also known as AEGIS." "Wow. Didn't expect him to come up with a snazzier acronym, if I do say so myself." "He was assisted by the scientists over at Aperture Science. Also, Aperture Science has decided to give us two copies of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and blueprints for the long fall boots. They were present of your knowledge of astral engineering to create a better version of the boots and standardize the use of them." "Hmm, it almost sounds like they're complimenting me!" "Actually, maybe the present fact that Dexter did not inform them of the obvious fact that you are not human." "Well, there is that", I said while slowly turning into a smile. "Going back to the Aperture Science job, they also teleported a Personality Core over here. It was a Morality Core to forestall future outbursts of violence." "I had no idea that you had a violence problem. Good thing it was ended before it came up." "Quite. Do you want immediate access to the survey team?" I requested yes. AEGIS then lowered the tile I was standing on. I solidified my stance to prevent falling over. I felt the tile create borders and then create a protective fence. The elevator-tile went down to the flight deck. I saw thirteen heavily modified Aperture Science Personality Cores that had been cannibalized into spherical drones. One was giving off sparks and fizzling. I demanded an information uplink to the malfunctioning drone. The drone's energy wings flipped open and started floating. "Command: Reboot systems and replay latest footage. Statement: Replaying..." The core gave off a large amount of sparks and backed up. The central iris glowed like an ember and then started playing the video.
It started as the core went through the portal that AEGIS created to send out the drones. It went through a multicolor tunnel and then exited it after a scene reminiscent to "Oh my God, It's full of Stars" in 2001: a Space Odyssey (Speaking of which, that movie is boring, but very lightening). After the tunnel episode, it exited to find a very ... light planet. The core crash-landed on a hill. After using repulsion jets to restabilize itself, it looked for signs of life. It saw a mountain with a city carved into it. Upon further inspection, there was also a tranquil town with a monumental apple orchard. There was also a large town made out of clouds in the sky. The current destination on the subtitles revealed that the drone was somewhere in a country called Equestria. The drone began the disguise stage of scouting. As in, it scanned the local life and camouflaged itself to match. It then managed to distinguish the form of life, type of life, universe category, and the astral location. The drone managed to distinguish a mental caste system of the people in the shadowed town. It seems that a representative from the royal kingdom of a "Canterlot" was sent to have an active testing protocol. Successful surveys recall that the technical ruler of the world was a Princess named Celestia. Whoo. Darkbane's gonna have a cow when I tell him this. Wait a minute ... all of these statues are equine. So why are the natives human? The drone looked like equine. It was never noticed. I noticed that the video started fizzling again. A hyperactive female human with a ... pink afro saw the drone and the Drone broke down. The Drone's disguise shorted out and reverted back to the first state. 3rd Person mode was enabled, and the camera fizzled. The camera regenerated in the location of a primitive lab. A female human with straight purple hair and a pink line was walking around the probe, attempting to decipher what it was. "My guess was that it was an experimental android sent by the robotics team over in Canterlot ..." "Ten coins say that you can rebuild it"... "Maybe it's a PARTY-BOT 9000!" Oh Ouroboros, just what I needed. Optimism. Still, I googled it and it had a huge fandom. Soooo EMBASSY TIME! Meanwhile, during my monologue, the Drone activated its ESS, the Emergency Spacial Shift. It teleported to the ship, half-repaired. I sent more labor drones to completely repair it. About five minutes later, Drone 13 was completely restored. I ordered it to begin making the Embassy building and having me be an ambassador there. I decided to weld an EON to the drone so I could remotely trigger the transformation and teleportation sequence. I announced to the crew that I would be taking a leave of absence for diplomatic business. I attached the EON to the drone, and we went on our way.-Willzahk
~Meanwhile...~
"Is it time to strike now?" Stinkmeaner said with a tone of arrogance. "No, you loathsome fool", responded Satan. "Give it time, for I know that our spy will do his job well." Tak responded with questioning, "Spies? Not even Irk would do such a thing. Sure, we sent strike teams and orbital bombardment for every planet that refused to repay its IOU's, but SPIES?" "I sent one spy, but the irony is that I gave him a perception filter so no one would question why he's setting charges in the engine bays. Your foolish answer was so ridiculous, MEETING ADJOURNED!" We all went our separate ways except for Thrax and I. "How about that Devil, huh?" I queried. "The imbecile won't know what hit him when we go ahead with our invasion mission. The idiot would be still over there and the ship would be blowing up with him still inside! Then we can use the ship to change the past and rewrite history!" I interrupted; "Don't you think that's a little-HURK!" Thrax's red-hot fingerblade was piercing my chest. As I hit the white-tiled floors, Thrax said with a wide grin, "Feel the heat yet, Wallabee?" And my soul was surrendered to the other side. When I found Hell, I found something intriguing. I could move around. I was worthy enough to reach the Harrowing. I ran and ran and ran for my immortal soul was in the balance, to the Obsidian gates of Christ's Harrowing. "Kyrie Eleison," I said, and the gates opened. I felt an ecstatic burst of light, and I was high in the clouds. I heard three people talking above me. "Lucy's still at it ... What say we blurt it out?... Oh! a redeemed soul!" All of their eyes shifted towards me. They descended from their heavenly clouds to say, "Hello Wallabee Beatles. We have been expecting you. Now, as you may see, you were betrayed by a fellow teammate, so therefore you were a victim of the Sin of Treachery. However, being the notoriously handsome fellows we are, will be sending you to another place for a temporary period. You will be sent to the World of Friendship is Magic. Yes, I know that sounds stupid, but in a short period of time, an extremely important guest will be arriving at Ponyville for an Embassy test. If the test is successful, than we will let you go frolic in the eternal fields of Paradise. If you fail, and you let the assassination attempts, and there will be, succeed, you will be forced to watch your mistakes for all eternity. However, we will also be granting you temporary immortality to weapons, so you cannot be killed as long as you are down there. You will be sent back up here upon a successful mission. My hope is that you will succeed, and I'll see you on the eternal fields. I also wish to see you using your immortality to its full potential. Oh! And one more thing. You are only allowed to say these words to the protected guest: 'God is watching you.' Goodbye for now, Wally Beatles. See you again! And I blanked to unconsciousness. The next time I woke up, I was in a surprisingly campy town was new jeans, a new shirt, and some weird symbol of the number four intertwined with a cross. I knew that I had a mission, and I intended to follow it.-Wally Beatles