Willzahk-Maddahk-Samus-Sylux-Kuki-Dexter-Kreia-Darkbane-Doctor-Death
Well! I had a bad day today. While I was walking to my room from the Food Court, something in the cargo hold shook and I heard a metallic shriek that yelled "TAAAAACOOOOSSS!". I snapped my fingers and immobilized what yelled that e-e-e-evil sound. Apparently, Dexter made a house omnipotence generator, which is for allowing omnipotence in the rooms. He was mumbling throughout making the thing, ranting to himself about being away from someone named "Dee Dee". "Great, now Mandark has her..." "That stupid mandark..." "Ooh, peppermint." Hmm. Something strange also happened today. I was in the pool, and I heard something ... unusual. "Well, I CAN breathe underwater", someone said. "Nuh uh, you're lying" Someone else said. The two people kept snipping at each other until the first said "Alright, I'll prove it." He jumped underwater, which scared the living daylights out of me. I was pretty far down underwater, so I wasn't really affected. The water was pristine clear, so I saw who it was. It was ... Darkbane? What? How could Darkbane be able to breathe underwater? I swam upwards until I breached the water. The other person that was talking with Darkbane screamed. It was ... Kuki? Wow. Now I'm REALLY confused. I pushed all the water off me with Telekinesis and got Darkbane out of the pool. He was still wearing his robe and jester hat, which I found very strange.
"We were-I mean-I-he-We were just chatting," Kuki said. Apparently, I just learned that Darkbane could breathe underwater. Now WHY does that not sound like "Just chatting"? I asked to Darkbane, "How can you breathe underwater?" He responded, "Well, it all started in Crab Alley..." I interrupted "Cut to the Chase, Darkbane." "Alright. In the Survey Camp in Celestia, back in the spiral. It was before I went into a place called the Grotto. "The Grotto"? How cheesy does he think this is? He further explained that apparently, he was zapped with some fancy machinery and poof, he can breathe underwater. He also said something about a strange rock in the Grotto. Hmm. I teleported myself an EON (mastered it) and put in the coordinates for "The Grotto". I wanna meet this rock. I used the EON to go to the Grotto. "HURRK-" I started groaning. I kind of forgot that this place was underwater. Luckily, my Pack set itself for Underwater Life. It tripled its Transmutation speed and magnetized my feet to the gravitational pull of the internal cave's tide. I asked Darkbane where this rock was on the comlink app. He told me to look near a person named Eeglis. Huh. I asked how I could find this "Eeglis". Apparently, if you say the singular letter "M", a map will show up and tell you where it is. I found that incredibly strange. So I eventually found this rock. It said something EXTREMELY creepy. It said "Open the Doors of the Deepmines". I attached a teleportation beacon to the rock and teleported back to the ship because I really didn't want to knife another eel/fish/talking crab/REALLY OLD talking crab/talking anything.
When I went back to the hold where the stuff tagged with Teleportation beacons shows up. Apparently, someone tagged A LOT of magazines. I sent a hovercart to take the magazines to wherever their destination was. The cart was heading to Kuki's room. Ehh. So my rock showed up. Yay. I scanned it with my EON and something strange happened. It showed a picture of a black emblem of three lines curved to a spiral to a black circle. The subtitle said that it was of M'arrillian origin. Hmm. I searched it on my EON. I hooked the EON up to an Omniscience drive, so it knew everything. It apparently had directions to find M'arrillians. I told the rest of the crew that "WE HAVE A NEWBIE!"
When we got to the universe that held our M'arrillian buddies, I had a gleeful surprise. Apparently, our buddies from the other side were protected by primitive doors and four tribes. TRIBES! I laughed for ten minutes straight. My transuniversal friends were guarded by TRIBES. Not Civilizations, TRIBES. Not Space-faring empires, TRIBES. Heh. Also, these doors were the most guarded things in this entire world. The tribal leaders showed up when I took five direct steps towards the doors. One had huge hair and green skin, one was a lizard, one was a FAAAT bug, and the last one looked like a demon from Hell. I sliced through all of them with a telekinetic blade. There was no blood, which I found surprising. Only a very large explosion of binary code. Hmm. The code swarmed towards me and entered my EON on my wrist. What? I can turn into these things? Hmm. Well, you know what they say! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! I telekinetically impaled everything that wasn't me/the crew/behind the doors. There was a MASSIVE flood of light blue numbers and I was practically drowning in binary. I could turn into anything on this planet. Ouroboros, I love this. I forced the doors open with telekinesis. Apparently, there was a great flood. I could breathe underwater, which was a good thing. I teleported the Oubliette up into orbit, which was a strain. The leader of the M'arrillians, a person named A'aune, levitated out of the doors and thanked me. But, since I killed every one of his future slaves, he was going to kill me. While he was yelling at me, one of his scales dropped off. I picked up the scale and placed it in a pocket in my Pack. He was humanlike, except made out of water from the waist up. From the waist down, there was an overabundance of scaly tentacles and a golden skirt. Since I had permission to use Righteous Wrath, I telekinetically impaled everyone inside the doors. Another flood of light blue code. When I looked down at my EON, It now had a app that was called "Chaotic Transformer". It had a five minute timer, so I don't turn into one permanently. Also, it showed bios of the thing I was going to turn into. The one called "A'aune" had three modes. There was Projection mode, Avatar mode, and Pure mode. Since my business was done here, I teleported the ship back down to the planet and boarded.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KILLED THEM ALL?" Maddahk yelled. "Sorry, but they were all so angry and quite ... unattractive." I responded. "I at least got SOMETHING worthwhile out of this trip", I said. Maddahk looked up. "What is it?" "A scale. A scale of the most fearsome creature there." "I figured we would splice it with my DNA so it doesn't flip out and kill us all." "Hmm, good idea. Take Dexter with you in the DNA lab, though. I've seen your test scores."
In the DNA lab, there was insanity going on. There was screams and energy bolts flying all over the place inside of the glass alloyed chamber. Good news: He responded to the splice with a positive outcome. Bad news: He knows telepathy. Hmm. I might just have to brainhack this one.
~FIVE MINUTES LATER~
WELL. SOMEBODY didn't want me to make him nice. Since he's my half-clone, I guess that makes him a biologic brother or something. Hmm. Anyway, the cloning process was a success. He has a golden metal breast and shin plate. He also has three tentacles around the head. He has the ability to shape-shift. He has a glowing three-horned crown made out of energy around his head, which I found impossible to describe. He has two large, yellow empty eyes. He is completely made out of water. He also has two golden gauntlets. He can apparently travel anywhere as long as he's connected to the plates. He has one leg tail, which levitates along with him. I'm guessing he also has a little bit of telekinesis. Under stress, he still has the three forms. He doesn't have a mouth, which was strange. During the recruiting of Death, we decided to save DNA copies in vials AND of the person in Nano form. Nano form decreases features that a normal, and makes you more ... cartoonish. It also makes your eyes rather large. It allows your nano to be used by the other members of the crew. I personally loved this feature, being the egomaniac that I am. THEY'RE SO CUTE!
Another noise from the cargo bay. Ouroboros, what is HAPPENING in there? I decided to go there. There was the BIGGEST mess you've ever seen, with the creator of all horrors sitting there, right in front of me. It was a little green dog with black ears, legs, and arms. It was so gosh darn CUTE! I organized a meeting to propose what to do with it. Here's what happened.
Maddahk, Samus, Darkbane, and Numbuh Three all proposed it be a pet. Death scared the crap out of it. The doctor proposed we send it back. We all give him a dirty look. Kreia just stood there, looking cryptic as always. Dexter wanted to do tests. We definitely give him a dirty look. Sylux was sitting there playing a Gameboy... WHAT? Anyway, since the votes were recorded, this new ... puppy thing ... was named Wall-E. What I found strange, however, is that it had a metallic sounding voice and knew how to speak english. "MY NA-AME IS GIR." It said with a serious tone. I said, with the crap scared out of me, "O-o-o-o-k." This ... Gir apparently is now a technical member of the Crew of the Oubliette. Awesome.-Willzahk
